Social Skills - My Child Doesn’t Have Friends in School

TutorGiant.com

     As a parent, my heart goes out to other parents who come to the realization that their child doesn’t have any friends at school.

     As a teacher, I see this trend far too often.  Many times, I have seen children standing near the school wall outside at recess time, playing by themselves.  It is often the ‘new’ student who comes a new school, state, province, or even country, who has a difficult time adjusting

     There are several factors that are responsible for this type of situation.  In some cases, medical intervention might be required.  In most cases though, it’s just a matter of a child not using the appropriate social skills or lacking in self confidence.

     If this is your situation, the first step to take is to talk to your child’s teacher.  It is important to find out if your child is attempting to socialize.  Is your child trying to make friends or is he keeping to himself? 

     Next, you should take a step back and admit to yourself why you think your child is having difficulties socializing.  Is she aggressive or perhaps passive aggressive? Or is your child lacking in confidence?

  If you believe that your child needs to improve his social skills, you can find out from your child’s school or your city services if there is a social skills program for children.

     If your child is shy, or lacking in confidence, then perhaps you might consider the following:

1. Enrol your child in an extra-curricular program in the school.  This will give your child a chance to socialize with his/her peers during a fun activity.  
   

2. Enrol your child in an after school activity such as martial arts, swimming, or music.  These activities are non-competitive.  This will give your child the opportunity to measure himself against himself as opposed to measuring himself against others.  This can be a real confidence booster for children who always compare themselves to other kids.

3. You can also take the initiative by getting the phone number of some children in your child’s class and inviting them over for a play day.  This will help your child in several ways.  First, it will model the behaviour that you want your child to demonstrate.  You will be showing your child that she has to take the initiative to get together with friends.  Secondly, it will give other children the opportunity to see your child in a different atmosphere that will show a more positive side of your child's personality.  Lastly, it will allow your child to interact with others in his own home.  This will add an extra comfort level for your child thus giving him more confidence to interact socially.

     Try these strategies and see which works best for your child.  Remember, children don’t have the socializing experiences that we do.  We have to give them the opportunities to practice their social skills and guide them to interact appropriately with their peers.

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