Quite often, children who don’t have well developed social skills lack the ability to empathize.  These kids aren’t able to put themselves in other kids’ shoes.

     Your child may, in school, find himself in trouble by the teacher or, have another student angry at him for being disruptive.  The first thing you must do is point out what your child is doing wrong (he may not be aware of what he is doing).  Ask your child what would disturb him if he was trying to work in the classroom (look for answers such as: someone talking, making sounds, and shuffling papers).  Have your child determine the disruptive behaviors that he does in class.  Ask your child how he thinks other kids feel about it.  Let your child know that other kids will be upset and/or angry with him and may not want to play with him.

     Then, have your child think of ways to be less disruptive (e.g. don’t talk to kids when they are working, whisper if he has to talk to someone else, don’t shuffle papers during quiet work time, wait for a better time such as recess to socialize, sharpen a pencil before it is quiet work time).

     You can ask your child’s teacher to remind your child to not be disruptive when it is quiet working time.  Your child’s teacher can use a hand signal so that your child knows when he or she should be quiet.  You can also write down (see the ‘disturbing others’ chart in the resource section) or print out a note that your child can keep at his or her desk reminding your child to respect others during independent work time.