All kids want to fit in and be accepted by their peers.  Most kids are able to do so by cooperating, sharing, and playing nicely with others.  Kids with social skills difficulties have not yet fine tuned their cooperating and sharing skills.  Instead, they attempt to become accepted and try to fit in by seeking attention.  Unfortunately, they are seeking attention in negative ways.

     Attention is attention, regardless if it is positive (e.g. telling a joke, complimenting someone, showing a new toy) or if it is negative (e.g. pushing people’s buttons by teasing, name calling, taking property without asking, or making silly sounds).  The end goal from attention seeking behavior is the same, to be accepted.

     If you receive notes from your child’s teacher stating that your child bothers others, makes silly voices, or blurts out answers in class, then your child is probably seeking negative attention.  Your goal is to teach your child to seek positive attention.

     Sit down with your child and discuss some of his or her behaviors in the class or at home that are negative attention seeking behaviors.  Have your child express to you how other people feel about these behaviors.  Get your child to think of alternative ways to get the attention of others.  Then, write down both positive seeking attention behaviors and negative seeking attention behaviors.  You can then create a reward system for your child (again, see the resource section) for when he or she displays appropriate attention seeking behavior.  You can ask your child’s teacher to inform you when your child uses positive attention   seeking behavior in class.

     Finally, if your child is seeking negative attention, you may want to consider finding ways to improve your child’s self-confidence.  You can enroll your child in a non-competitive extra-curricular activity such as karate or swimming to help your child’s self-esteem.