Social Skills - My Child is Very Sensitive

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      The problem children have when they are too sensitive is the fact that they internalize what the other person is saying as, “There’s something wrong with me.”

       There is nothing wrong with children who are more prone to being overly sensitive.  In fact, I believe that it contributes to a healthier society when children are empathetic.  The problem here though, is the question of social interaction.  An overly sensitive child may not develop the appropriate social skills.  Furthermore, a child who is sensitive may be in need of greater self confidence.

     Firstly, reward your child for appropriately reacting to things that other kids say or do.  Make a big deal about it.  Show your child that you are proud that he/she didn’t let words or actions bother him/her this time.  Also, have your child express how he/she feels about the situation.

     If your child has an older brother, sister, or cousin, have them model appropriate behavior.  Your child will see this ‘older child’ who doesn’t internalize everything that is said and done.

     When your child overreacts, explain the concept of ‘overreacting’ and what could be done the next time to prevent it.  While doing this, you can teach your child to deal with his or her feelings by expressing themselves.

     Find playmates (i.e. neighbors, cousins, family friends) who are a good influence on your child and try to spend more time with these kids.

    Boost your child’s self confidence.  Find a skill or activity that your child is good at and make a big deal about it.  Stay away from team activities and try to put your child into an activity that is more independent.  If your child interacts with others, and sees that others are ‘better’, your child’s confidence will be undermined.  Independent activities allow your child to compete against him or herself.  Personally, I think martial arts are the best activity for a child to develop confidence and self esteem.

     Teach your child the difference between teasing and joking.  Sometimes children have difficulty differentiating between friendly teasing for verbal abuse.  Make sure your child realizes the difference.

     Show your child to focus on improvement rather than perfection.  The quest for perfection only leads to disappointment.  A child can always improve and improvement leads to confidence.

     Lastly, find the things that make your child overly sensitive.  Talk to your child and help him/her overcome his/her sensitivity by diminishing the importance of those things.

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